Warning To My Neighbors

I  think it only fair to warn you that I am in danger of exploding into a cranky old woman at any moment.  I know I still fairly young, single and childless, but I still need my sleep.  Loud parties lasting until 4 a.m. will no longer be tolerated.  I am armed with a cell phone.  Loud parties in your garage, right outside my bedroom window are not acceptable, as they effect not only me, but also eight other units.
        Speaking of parking, I think bullet bikes, should remain permanently parked.  They are dangerous, loud, and more importantly, they are highly annoying.  Every time you gun your engine, I feel the vibrations, and can hear your approach a mile off.  Why must you rev the engine 17 times before you actually begin driving?  For me, bullet bikes make me dream of snipers.
       As of ten minutes ago, I am now thirty two years old, and you have been warned.