"Please Don't Squeeze The Charmin"

      Did you know that my parents almost named me Sharmin?  Yes, it's true, I was close to being named after a well known brand of toilet paper.  Thankfully, my brothers and sisters saved my life from going down the toilet, by nixing the name.  
     Lately, every time the Charmin bears appear on the TV, I am grateful that my name has no connection to the brand.  Especially since the newest Charmin commercials promote the slogan, "Enjoy the Go."  Wow.  I obviously owe my siblings big for helping me dodge that bullet.
     Just to give you an idea of popularity of this type of TP, at the time of my birth, here is the info taken directly from the Charmin website.
1978—Mr. Whipple was named the third-best-known American—just behind former President Nixon and Billy Graham.

"Please don't squeeze the Charmin!" is named by R.H. Bruskin Associates as the most recognizable advertising slogan among those tested—being identified by eight out of 10 persons.

Charmin bath tissue distribution was expanded across the U.S.—it was available in all 50 states. The Charmin Plus 6-roll package was introduced.
           ***Yes, I know the formating is off on this post.  I got tired of trying to fix it.

Warning To My Neighbors

I  think it only fair to warn you that I am in danger of exploding into a cranky old woman at any moment.  I know I still fairly young, single and childless, but I still need my sleep.  Loud parties lasting until 4 a.m. will no longer be tolerated.  I am armed with a cell phone.  Loud parties in your garage, right outside my bedroom window are not acceptable, as they effect not only me, but also eight other units.
        Speaking of parking, I think bullet bikes, should remain permanently parked.  They are dangerous, loud, and more importantly, they are highly annoying.  Every time you gun your engine, I feel the vibrations, and can hear your approach a mile off.  Why must you rev the engine 17 times before you actually begin driving?  For me, bullet bikes make me dream of snipers.
       As of ten minutes ago, I am now thirty two years old, and you have been warned.

Why Childhood Obesity Is On The Rise

see more Epic Fails