Hot, Hairy Mess

I am searching for a new tenant/roommate right now, which is always a fun experience.  I advertised the condo as animal-friendly and specified that the new tenant must love love dogs since I have two hyper canines.  Early this morning I received this lovely email.  I have been laughing about this "Hobby Breeder" all day, and felt I had to share her words here, since this is my first run-in with an animal hoarder in-training.


Kim writes:
"Do you need a pet deposit? I have 2 huskies, a german shepherd and a cat. Im a hobby breeder, My german shepherd is pregnant and my husky has 7 puppies (they all will go to their new homes by may 8th)"



     In case you lost count, that's eleven animals she wants to bring with her. ELEVEN. Yes, the puppies will be gone by May 8th, but soon they will be replaced by another litter, and since she is a hobby breeder, there is no end in sight.
      Soon after I adopted Olivia, I took her to be spayed.  However, the procedure had to be postponed, when it was discovered that she was already pregnant.  About a week before she gave birth she developed a very serious case of the most disgusting diarrhea I have ever had the pleasure to clean up.  Then along came her seven pups, who quickly learned how to push down the walls of their enclosure, and spread chaos, (and poo) through out the house.  The next six weeks were hectic to put it mildly, and there is no way I will ever willing descend into puppy hell again.   Especially with six other pets in the mix...
     So here are some questions for Kim:
What in the world are you thinking?  Have you inhaled so much fur that it is impeding your thought process in much the same way cocaine might?  What landlord in their right mind would ever rent to such a hairy mess?  
     Kim, dear; perhaps you should consider delaying your "hobby-breeding," until you own a large house, situated on a large piece of land.  Might I suggest a farm?

Ruminations on Roscoe and A Small List For Monday

 

      Roscoe's growing list of issues is driving me crazy.  He's a sweet dog, but oh so neurotic.  So far his list of fears includes: the wind, getting into cars, (but he's completely fine once in the car), and now, other dogs.  Imagine my joy on Saturday, when our walk was filled with wind and many other dogs.  I came home with bruises on my arm from the way I had to hold the leash.  I am so glad fall is here, because when the wind actually causes things to move about, it is extra scary.  I wish I could talk to him and understand what goes through his mind when he goes into freak out mode.  I do feel like we made some progress on our walk today, though.
     If I could have a conversation with him I would tell him: There will always be wind that blows, vehicles to get into, and other dogs to deal with, so just get over it, little boy.  I am trying to be patient, and use every available teaching moment, but I could really do without your high pitched, anxiety filled screeching that makes everyone think I am beating you.
     Also, that beautifully calm Great Dane that you take such issue with, could flatten you with one paw, if you managed to find a way to actually provoke him.  Don't be stupid, my dear.

Monday's List: Summer Memories

My Top 5 Sensory Memories From Summer 2010

1.  The "I want to rip my skin off" feeling of a bad case of hives
2.  The mix of wind and sun on my skin at the beach house In Oregon

3.  Coming home from Oregon to find blood all over the walls and floors, because Olivia had hurt her tail while I was away.
4.  Hearing Brownie skid down the sidewalk because he refused to stand up and walk
5.  The smell of wet cement (poolside) baking in the hot sun- that is the smell of summer for me

It was a great summer, and If I had my way it would never end...

Monday's List: Podcasts Part 1

I am a big journal writer, but I am also somewhat lazy in my writing habits, so I make a lot of lists in my journal.  I could list anything from the groceries bought, to things I'm grateful for, to books I'd like to read, or non essentials I would love to buy, if I had any non-essential money lying around.  You could call me an aggressive list maker, I would be fine with that title.  I think you can learn a lot about a person from the lists they create.
     With that being said, I'd like to introduce a new feature on this blog: Monday's List.  This week list is based on the podcasts I listen to, because I love podcasts and think everyone should investigate podcast possibilities.  Most are free to subscribe to, and cover just about any subject imaginable.  All podcast mentioned here can be found on itunes for free.  The included links will take you directly to the rss feeds for each podcast.  The ratings mentioned are just my suggestions to a conservative audience, and not actual ratings.  I listen to a lot of podcasts, so I decided to split this particular list in half. Look for the second half next Monday.


1.  60 Second Psych      Rated PG
     A weekly 1-2 minute commentary on the latest developments in in the science of brain and behavior from Scientific American
2.  60 Second Science     Rated PG
     Leading science journalists provide a daily minute commentary on some of the most interesting developments in science.  From Scientific American
3.  B&N Meet The Writers Video Interviews     Rated PG
     Watch as your favorite authors discuss their inspiration and influences, their favorite books and the reason they write.  http://www.barnesandnoble.com
4. Best Of YouTube     Rated PG
     The best of YouTube without searching through all the other random crap.  Best of YouTube
5.  Celebrity play list Podcast     Rated PG
      Artists, actors, and musicians, and others in the public eye expand on their favorite music in their own words, and play short sections from the songs.  It's really just a promotional tool for iTunes,  but I like it.  Each episode is usually 15-25 minutes long.  It's a good way to find new music.  Celebrity Playlist
6.  The Dog Trainer's Quick and Dirty Tips     Rated G
     The dog trainer explains how to get the polite behaviors you want, and then turn those behaviors into lifelong habits.  Good advice for training dogs of all ages.  The Dog Trainer
7.  Everything Creative-Exploring Creativity     Rated G
     This podcast explores creativity through interviews with artists and creative people of all types. I don't really think of bobsledding as being creative, but this program argues otherwise. Each episode is unique in that the interviewee from one episode becomes the interviewer in the next episode.  Everything Creative
8.  The House Call Doctor's Quick and Dirty Tips     Rated PG
     No topic is off limits as Dr. Rob Lamberts answers your most pressing medical questions with his trademark humor and straightforward advice.  House Call Doctor
9.  KQED The Writer's Block     Rated PG-13
     Weekly reading series featuring writers and performers of all stripes reading the latest short fiction, non-fiction, theater and poetry.  I have found a lot of good books through this podcast.  The Writer's Block
10.  LDS General Conference     Rated G
     This podcast is automatically updated after every general conference for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, (Mormons), to give you the latest general conference addresses.  The archives go back several years, so there is a ton of goodness to keep a person occupied, and edified.  LDS General Conference
11.  MacBreak Weekly     Rated PG  
      Because I love me a Mac; always have, always will.  The latest Mac news from the top journalists covering Apple today.  Funny in unexpected ways, this podcast can be a little on the long side at times, but it is worth having on in the background.  MacBreak Weekly
12.  MacWorld Video      Rated G
     Weekly video tips from Apple experts.  Valuable info, short and to the point.  MacWorld Video
13.  The Mortified Shoe Box Show     Rated PG-13 (possible swearing)
     A comic excavation of the strange and extraordinary things we created as kids.  Witness adults sharing their own letters, lyrics, poems, journals, lame rap songs, and home movies, pictures, and more.  How much do I love The Mortified Shoe Box Show?  Enough to keep it in my list of podcast subscriptions during the twenty two period in which no shows were produced.  I knew if I waited long enough, I'd be richly rewarded.  It is always a happy day at my house when a new Mortified comes out.  Mortified Shoe Box
14.  The Moth Podcast      Rated PG 13 (possible swearing)
     The Moth features true stories told by people from all walks of life to a live audience.  Engaging, funny and touching, sometimes just plain sad, but always interesting.  The Moth
15.  New BYU Speeches     Rated G
     Brings the newest Tuesday devotional and forum speeches given at BYU to your computer or ipod.  There is also a podcast that steams classic BYU speeches, but for some reason, I had a hard time concentrating on those speeches, although I know there is a lot of quality there as well.  http://speeches.byu.edu/rss/podcast2.xml
  

Brownie The Beagle

He sure looks cute, but can you see the defiance in his eyes?

Brownie the Beagle is STUBBORN,

and fat,

and lazy 

and demanding

and very loud and vocal

and just a general pain in the butt

but, at least he's not gassy

Tomorrow he will waddle on home, and be top dog again.  I'm sure he will be in heaven; after eighteen days of "visiting" my little house, where there are too many animals already.  But he will always know where to come if he ever feels like being dragged down the street in the name of exercise.  BYE, BROWNIE!

A Little Scrape Of Heaven

Thats right, I had my yearly Pap Smear today, and it was wonderful. Seriously, compared the rest of my day, my pap smear was a little scrape of heaven. Thanks, Santa! Stay tuned for the rest of the story tomorrow...

"Olivia Sue, I Love You"

Today is Olivia's adoption day, I have had her for four years.  We have been through a lot together and she is wonderful dog.  She is a very happy and smart, and she loves helping me.  She runs to me whenever I tell her that I need help, and she takes good care of me.  I call her Olivia Sue, when shisbeing a very good dog, and Olivia Newton John when she is very, very BAD.

      Olivia understands and responds to over 100 words.  Did I mention that she is smart?  This week she learned the command "Pull out the pillow," which means "Get your pillow out from underneath the bed, because I'm not doing it for you."
      Olivia likes to sit on my lap, even though she doesn't really fit.  She also loves to have her ears rubbed, and she makes a funny groaning noise when I hit the right spot.  I love her.

Smelly Gratitude

• Good smelling laundry detergent--At the moment, I am using a non scented detergent.  My clothes come out smelling like nothing, and I have the urge to wash them again.  I am comforted by the fact that the bottle is almost empty, and I can buy some of the good stuff soon.
• The scent of baking pies.  I don't get to eat them, but I do get to smell them, and that makes me happy.
• Clean kitchen
• Clean bathroom!  (It has been way too long since I cleaned my bathroom...)
• Energy--(Again, way too long since I've had much energy)
• I am grateful that the poo man, (don't you wish that were your job title?) came today.  He was two days behind schedule this week, and Olivia has been enjoying quite the feast.  No more late night snacks for her for a few days.  
• .94 cents.  I am .94 cents rich.

Olivia goes down the Slide

Here is the long awaited video of Olivia going down the slide in January. Sorry the video is so dark.

The indistinct high pitched noises and crazy laughter in the background are coming from me.