I'm Back

Yes, it's true, I've decided to come back to blogging after an almost 2 1/2 year absence.  My life is just as boring as it was two years ago, however, I have realized that I still have something to share. 

Last night, I randomly decided to look at Aggressive User. What I discovered, is that I share things here that I don't write in my journal. My posts on here tell a story about me that isn't shared elsewhere, and as such, it should continue to be told. So, here we go again.

Check out this awesome Ted Talk given by Maysoon Zayid; a comedian with cerebral palsy. It's worth watching.

Did You Miss Me?

I seriously doubt it, but that's okay.  Why haven't I blogged for the past seven months?  Because even on my best days my life is pretty boring.  However, there have been a few things that have happened that deserve mentioning.

April-My roommate Molly moved out after living with me for over two years
May-I started an editing internship with Eschler Editing
June-At the end of the month, we had a family reunion in Paris, Idaho (Bear Lake).
July-my new/old roommate,Veronica, moves in again, and we both experience roommate nirvana
August-I started dating a boy named Mike.
September-I get my first van!  This event deserves it's own post; see below
October- Mike and I break up
November- On some date in November, that is still unclear to me, I started dating Adam.  Does anyone else see a pattern there?
   
      So, those are the major events since last I wrote. Now you are all caught up.   You are welcome.

"Baby, You Can Drive My Car"

Because I can't.  Yet...

Yesterday my mom brought me a huge surprise...a wheelchair accessible van!  Thanks to the generosity of my amazing parents, and my Mom's cousin Kaye,(pictured above, and the previous owner of the van,) I can now take my power chair anywhere, and I have a lot more freedom.  The van is fully equipped to meet all my needs.  Now all I need is a driver's license...

Hot, Hairy Mess

I am searching for a new tenant/roommate right now, which is always a fun experience.  I advertised the condo as animal-friendly and specified that the new tenant must love love dogs since I have two hyper canines.  Early this morning I received this lovely email.  I have been laughing about this "Hobby Breeder" all day, and felt I had to share her words here, since this is my first run-in with an animal hoarder in-training.


Kim writes:
"Do you need a pet deposit? I have 2 huskies, a german shepherd and a cat. Im a hobby breeder, My german shepherd is pregnant and my husky has 7 puppies (they all will go to their new homes by may 8th)"



     In case you lost count, that's eleven animals she wants to bring with her. ELEVEN. Yes, the puppies will be gone by May 8th, but soon they will be replaced by another litter, and since she is a hobby breeder, there is no end in sight.
      Soon after I adopted Olivia, I took her to be spayed.  However, the procedure had to be postponed, when it was discovered that she was already pregnant.  About a week before she gave birth she developed a very serious case of the most disgusting diarrhea I have ever had the pleasure to clean up.  Then along came her seven pups, who quickly learned how to push down the walls of their enclosure, and spread chaos, (and poo) through out the house.  The next six weeks were hectic to put it mildly, and there is no way I will ever willing descend into puppy hell again.   Especially with six other pets in the mix...
     So here are some questions for Kim:
What in the world are you thinking?  Have you inhaled so much fur that it is impeding your thought process in much the same way cocaine might?  What landlord in their right mind would ever rent to such a hairy mess?  
     Kim, dear; perhaps you should consider delaying your "hobby-breeding," until you own a large house, situated on a large piece of land.  Might I suggest a farm?

What I Actually Read in 2010

Last year I had a goal to read fifty books, and I actually succeeded!  At the beginning of the year, I made a list of books that I wanted to read.  If you are interested, here is the original List, and the list below is what I actually read.
     I read many good books in 2010, but the top six, (in order of reading),that stuck with me the most were:


1.  A Virtuous Woman
2.  The Book Thief
3.  The Sky Is Everywhere
4.   Interpreter of Maladies
5.  Let the great World Spin
6.  The Help

1.  Strange Red Cow And Other Curious Classified ads From The Past   By Sara Bader 

2.  The Memory Keeper’s Daughter   By Kim Edwards

3.  Ellen Foster   by Kaye Gibbons

4.  A Virtuous Woman  By Kaye Gibbons

5.  Time Sex and Power: How Women’s Sexuality Shaped  Human Evolution By Leonard Shlain

6.  Shutter Island   By Dennis Lehane

7.  Prayer   By Spencer W. Kimball

8.  The Five Love Languages For Singles   By Gary Chapman

9.  The Pleasure Of My Company  By Steve Martin

10.  Northanger Abbey By Jane Austin

11.  The Book Thief By Marcus Zusak

12.  Like Normal People  By Robert Myers

13.  The Blue Castle   By  L. M. Montgomery

14.  The Elegance Of The Hedgehog   By Muriel Barbery

15.  The Guernsey Literary And Potato Peel Pie Society   By Mary Ann Schafer & Annie Barrows

16.  The Sky Is Everywhere  By Jandy Nelson

17.  Before I Fall   By Lauren Oliver

18.  Happens Every Day: An All Too True Story   By Isabelle Gillies

19.  The Case Of The Missing Marquess   By Nancy Springer

20.  The Hunger Games   By Suzanne Collins

21.  Catching Fire   By Suzanne Collins

22.  Looking For Alaska   By John Green

23.  My Left Foot By Christy Brown

24.  Going Bovine   By Libba Bray

25.  One For The Money   By Janet Evanovitch

26.  The Book Of Mormon: Another Testament Of Jesus Christ  By The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

27.  Two For The Dough   By Janet Evanovitch

28.  The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat And Other Clinical Tales   By Oliver Sacks

29.  Packing For Mars: The Curious Science Of Life In The Void   By Mary Roach

30.  Mockingjay   By Suzanne Collins

31.  The Financial Lives Of The Poets   By Jess Walter

32.  The Believers   By Zoë Heller

33.  Let The Great World Spin   By Colum McCann

34.  Behind My Eyes   By Li-Young Lee

35.  Interpreter Of Maladies   By Jhumpa Lahiri

36.  The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy  By Douglas Adams  

37.  The Magician’s Assistant   By Ann Patchett

38.  The Patron Saint Of Liars   By Ann Patchett

39.  The Handmaid’s Tale   By Margret Atwood

40.  Room   By  Emma Donoghue

41.  Life Of Pi   By Yann Martel

42.  Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows   By J. K. Rowling

43.  The Golden Compass   By Phillip Pullman

44.  The Subtle Knife   By Phillip Pullman

45.  The Amber Spyglass   By Phillip Pullman

46.  The Help   By Kathryn Stockett

47.   The Phantom Tollbooth   By Norton Juster

48.  Taft   By Ann Patchett

49.  This I Believe: The Personal Philosophies Of  Remarkable Men And Women   By Jay Allison and Dan Gediman

50.  From The Outside Looking In: Short Stories For LDS Teenagers   Edited By Chris Crowe

Question And Answer

Q. How much do twelve vials of blood and various testing of said blood cost?
A. $839. 40

Q. How much do four x-rays cost?
A.  nearly $600 (I don't have have the bill in front of me).

Q. Was anything useful learned from this very long, very expensive, and frusterating appointment?
A.  No, but it did completely drain me emotionally.  I really love doctors.

Mixed Messages

I am annoyed.  I am bothered that when I find myself sucked into yet another episode of Sixteen And Pregnant, every commercial brake begins with oiled up men, being chased by several women who proclaim " I want your bod."  Although, this show is supposed to be showing how hard teen pregnancy, somehow they have completely missed the mark.  Thank you "Bod Man" cologne and MTV for that wonderful mixed message, you have obviously found your target audience.  I also think it's slightly horrible that teen girls are purposefully getting pregnant just to score an audition for the show.  Well done, MTV, I pledge to never watch that show again.
     I am annoyed at how disgusting my floors are.  It's futile for me to mop, when my tire tracks are never far behind.  The floors are not my responsibility, for obvious reasons, but I am seriously considering becoming a sacrificial human mop.  I would happily get down and scrub on my hands and knees, if only I had a way to guaranteed way to make it safely back into my wheelchair.
      I am also annoyed that I have no way to load the pictures from my camera to to my computer.  I'm not going into the details right now, but it sure does make for a boring blog.
I am now finished complaining.
     Actually, my life is pretty darn good, if all I have to complain about are TV shows and dirty floors.  MY visiting teacher, Kathy brought me some delicious corn chowder tonight.  It was really good, I want the recipe.  Both of my visiting teachers are really good women.  I want the recipe to becoming as good as they are.  I know that was a cheesy sentence, but cheese makes everything better.
     Don't worry, I'm stopping now.

"Baby, It's Cold Outside"

Last Saturday, I went up to Temple Square, with my friend Will, to see the lights.  I dressed as warmly as possible, in so many layers that my voice seemed muffled, and far away.  I even wrapped a warm blanket around my legs, not caring that it made me look and feel like a full time invalid.

     Notice the crazed look in my eyes

However, despite all my preparations, I still became bitterly cold after about twenty minutes. After that, I was no longer able to remain jolly for pictures.  Eventually, we made it back indoors, and my smile returned.  It was a fun night.

Space Balloon - Stratosphere Spacecraft Launched From Newburgh, NY

Watch this video, it it seriously cool! Although it is slightly squished in,you'll be able to see all the important details.
I am planning on writing on real post soon...

Why Childhood Obesity Is On The Rise...Again

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Kitten Vacancy

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The Refridgerator Saga

I have been through five fridges since August 5th 2010.

1).  First there was the original Amana, which died after a power surge

2).  After that came the Whirlpool that lasted 1 week.  There was a problem with the defrost timer, and the fridge turned on and off at will.  I don't have a picture of this particular fridge.

3).  Then came the fridge/freezer that my sister lent me

4).  After that came the GenAire with the icemaker that smoked and blew up a few minutes after it was plugged in.

And Now

This new Amana is my latest, and hopefully last fridge for quite a while.  Keep you fingers crossed.

Today At Church...

     One of my sunbeams ran at full speed; with her arms outstretched, from the front of the chapel to the back, just to give me a hug.
     In junior primary we learned the story of the "ten leopards."  And a five year old informed us all that we would go to hell, if we didn't read our scriptures.  (His words, not mine).  All in all, it was a very entertaining day for the teachers.
     I love being in primary, and feel especially blessed to be able to teach the the three year olds.  Those kids have an endless supply of love to share.

Unexplained Tooth

see more EpicFail
the Other captions from the Maury Show that won't copy onto the blog for some reason are:
-Kadeisha (age 13) says she had sex with a boy for a hair weave
-Demetrius says he is not the father of Marissa's son because he can't make boys
and my personal favorite,
-Arica says she found a tooth in her house that Michael can't explain

Ruminations on Roscoe and A Small List For Monday

 

      Roscoe's growing list of issues is driving me crazy.  He's a sweet dog, but oh so neurotic.  So far his list of fears includes: the wind, getting into cars, (but he's completely fine once in the car), and now, other dogs.  Imagine my joy on Saturday, when our walk was filled with wind and many other dogs.  I came home with bruises on my arm from the way I had to hold the leash.  I am so glad fall is here, because when the wind actually causes things to move about, it is extra scary.  I wish I could talk to him and understand what goes through his mind when he goes into freak out mode.  I do feel like we made some progress on our walk today, though.
     If I could have a conversation with him I would tell him: There will always be wind that blows, vehicles to get into, and other dogs to deal with, so just get over it, little boy.  I am trying to be patient, and use every available teaching moment, but I could really do without your high pitched, anxiety filled screeching that makes everyone think I am beating you.
     Also, that beautifully calm Great Dane that you take such issue with, could flatten you with one paw, if you managed to find a way to actually provoke him.  Don't be stupid, my dear.

Monday's List: Summer Memories

My Top 5 Sensory Memories From Summer 2010

1.  The "I want to rip my skin off" feeling of a bad case of hives
2.  The mix of wind and sun on my skin at the beach house In Oregon

3.  Coming home from Oregon to find blood all over the walls and floors, because Olivia had hurt her tail while I was away.
4.  Hearing Brownie skid down the sidewalk because he refused to stand up and walk
5.  The smell of wet cement (poolside) baking in the hot sun- that is the smell of summer for me

It was a great summer, and If I had my way it would never end...

Monday's List: The Shove

Alright I know today is Tuesday.  I am also aware that I didn't post last week.  I was having a mental health  week, and I don't think anyone was too devastated by my absence.  But now I am back.
     Today I woke up positively drenched in sweat, and with a pounding, split-my-head-open migraine.  I hate waking up with a migraine.  It makes me feel instantly defeated, before I even get out of bed.  Which, except for bathroom breaks, I didn't really accomplish until about eight tonight.  Once I was officially up, I knew I needed to get some food down before my next dose of pills.
      And thus began The Shove...
      The Shove is a very technical term I use to describe what happens when I am really hungry, but have absolutely no energy to feed myself.  In this state, standing up to get a plate is too much to ask, let alone peeling a boiled egg.  All food consumed must be ready to eat as is,  even warming something in the microwave is a stretch.  Which means that I end up eating really healthy stuff like an entire bag of chips...
    
Tonight's Shove included:

• A Fiber One bar 
• Lots of Triscuits
• A bag of microwave popcorn
• A few carrots

     Way to go, Me! I will try to eat extra healthy tomorrow.

      At this point, it should be noted that I am neither bulimic nor anorexic.  You will just have to trust me on this  

Note To Self

Dear Me
If you really must sing along with the music you listen to on your Ipod while walking the dogs, (and I know you must) could you please choose better play lists?  Might I suggest the a ban on musicals while out in public?  I just happened to notice the awkwardness that occurred as you rounded the corner  singing "she's a headache; she's an angel, she's a girrrlllllll" at the top of your lungs, only to find yourself face to face with a very-cute-jogger-boy.
Of course, everyone involved had a good chortle at your expense, and then went their separate ways; armed with a funny story to tell their friends.  No toes or egos were run over because of your musical road show.
But I can't help wondering if this is really the lyrical self portrait you want to announce to passers-by.  I'm thinking "Baby Got Back" is a better choice.  Just a thought
Love,
Me

Monday's List: Wish List

Things I Wish I Could Buy Right Now:
A New Apple Computer
Dictation Software
A Kindle
More time for my class
Health for those that I love
A job
and sanity for myself

Visual Word Association

This is a cool little video that went along with Radiolab's recent podcast about words.  I hope you enjoy it.